


Gently, Gently, Catchee Burglar

by FannishMinded



Series: HKM Fills [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Bilbo is a BAMF, Cute, Description of Shovel Talk but no violence committed, Dis and Bilbo are plotting, Dís is a BAMF, F/M, Family, Feels, Fili and Kili are shivering, Fluffy, Gen, HKM, M/M, Multi, No Beta, Shovel Talk, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-09 22:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3266303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FannishMinded/pseuds/FannishMinded
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>HKM Fill<br/>Prompt: http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/7346.html?thread=16924594#t16924594<br/>-Dis gently giving Bilbo the Shovel Talk.</p><p>I don't care who it's for as long as it's someone she might reasonably know and love enough to feel the need to give Bilbo a Shovel Talk. (So House of Durin, Fundin, etc)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gently, Gently, Catchee Burglar

"I'm glad to have this chance to talk with you, little burglar." Dis said with a small smile, seating herself and motioning for Bilbo to join her at the small tea and biscuit laden parlor table. "Kili had mentioned that you were a fan of the more flowery teas in the afternoon, you must tell me how you like this blend."

Bilbo settled into the small chair placed there for him, likely originally built for young dwarrowlings, it wound up still dwarfing his much smaller hobbit frame. "Ah, thank you, Lady Dis. I'm honored to have a chance to share Afternoon Tea with you."

His little hands fluttered as if unsure what to do as he spoke. It seemed that being served on a set of fragile tea service was sitting ill after so long with only the brash company of Warriors and Adventurers. The very nervousness illustrating how very different he was from the first description she had received, from her sons, posted from Bree.

Dis waved him off with a small rude sound and a chuckle, "None of that now. If you've the stones to tell my Brother off when he's in a strop, or calm Dwalin's Night Memories when sharing his bed, you have no need to stand on formality with me." Bilbo blinked at her with wide eyes, then seemed to relax a bit more. They shared a few smiles and the usual dishing of sugars and splashes of cream were doled out for them both and small selections of biscuits placed on each saucer.

Bilbo's eyes went wide at the first sip, his face breaking into a real smile. "OH, oh, this is lovely! Whoever blended this is a true master, oh, the layers of flavor." He looked at the cup of tea with much the same intensity that most dwarrow would look at a jewel, a low throaty and happy sound escaping, much to Dis's delight.

"Thank you, I'm flattered." Dis fought a laugh as Bilbo babbled his delight and wonder at her blend mastery and brew mastery, before leading the discussion back to the secondary reason she had gotten Bilbo alone this afternoon.

She topped up both their cups, preparing them before settling back into her chair and taking a slow sip. "It's been a long few months of letters from my kin and near kin, as the only word of your influence and effect here. I can see that the letters did not oversell you, in any way. I am very glad that my brother and sons had you to watch over them when I could not." Bilbo started to demure with a shrug and a quick "It really was," but Dis cut him off.

"No, Bilbo Baggins, son of Bungo Baggins and Belladonna Took, we owe you a debt for your levelheadedness, and myself more than most. You are just as prone to demurring as Balin had mentioned in his letters." Bilbo flushed and the flutter was back as Bilbo set down his cup.

Dis took the time to lay out her next words while Bilbo was off balance from the enforced praise.  
"You not only saved my own family, but my dearest near-kin, the Sons of Fundin, one of whom you now have very personal ties with, and, if I am not wrong, possibly the closest ties of all." Bilbo, if anything flushed deeper and hemmed and hawed for a moment, as Dis, proved a sharp tactician and pressed her advantage.

"Balin speaks quite highly of you, all my closest kin do, and I can see that you regard them highly as well. This is very good. Balin, however, and all my kin, are also far too close to the situation. Too close by far to say and do what needs to be said, and if needed, done."  
Dis turns the conversation very serious, as the little Hobbit flushes, sputtering. She over-rides him with the ease of long practice in courts not her own.

"You are not a Dwarrow, and what's more, you are not one of our people. You may see that Dwalin needs someone to help him connect. See that he needs his heart guarded and mind soothed despite his very strong body. But you likely do not know that he has always been the sweetest dwarrow I know. One that swiped pastries for little cousins, and kept laughter in hearts that had been shadowed by a Dragon. Who then came back from Moria, with shadows of his own, that stole his own smiles and hardened his body to near perfection despite leaving scars both inside and out."

Bilbo had fallen very silent at this. His eyes met Dis's gaze, but those expressive blue eyes held neither fear nor anger, instead they held a sort of respect and appreciation, as well as something like thanks.

"You have managed to find his heart, and you are not Dwarrow. You are not kin, in any way but the connections of hearts and minds. So I, who only have the connections others have with you, for now, can safely say, that if you do not think that you can return Dwalin's unwaivering loyalty, and complete devotion; if you can not protect his heart, or cherish and return in full the sweet gift of his love; then you need to make your excuses and leave now. Because if you hurt Dwalin, Balin and the company you traveled through so many trials with may not end you," She paused for a second, and made sure he could see her determination as she swore, "but by Mahal, I will."

Dis was not really surprised when Bilbo gulped, however his first words did shock her.

"Thank you. I will never need to be ended for harming Dwalin, because I rather think it would end me to do so. I appreciate your love for him, and it is because you haven't traveled with us, that you do not know that I would rather have the love of Dwalin, than any or all possessions I have ever held." He said steadily.

Dis drew in a slight breath but said nothing as Bilbo continued.

"You said they were too close, to do what needed doing, and that is true. For Hobbits, family means everything, kith and kin are our jewels. If Dwalin were to visit my old home, and my Mother still alive, I am sure, that at some point she would take him off to demonstrate the simple and dangerous love that is gardening. In that time, she would, as all Tooks inevitably do, display her finest shovel, and then explain that while weapons are the stuff of Mathoms, a good fine tool has many uses. Such as bludgeoning one that harms their spouse, or burying one who truly endangers them. And she'd say it all with a cheerful smile, I've no doubt." Bilbo let a smile tug large on his features, "So, on the scale of things, I rather think I got off light in the threats from kinfolk tradition."

Dis had to hold back a smile at that, not quite succeeding. "She sounds like she was a wonderful mother. One whom I shall have to take advice from for when my own sons find their ones."

Bilbo laughed at that. "Yes, and I'll be more than glad to help."

They shared no little laughter as they bantered and finished Afternoon Tea.

-

Dwalin gave them an odd look, when he came to find why Bilbo was late to dinner, but just smiled when he saw how well they were getting on. He had just been being paranoid, when he'd heard where Bilbo was, of course Dis wouldn't threaten Bilbo. Anyone could see how in love they were. Besides, if anyone should be getting threatened, it's himself...


End file.
